Confess to everything and you’ve confessed to nothing.
Mohammed Sheikh Khalid has now, voluntarily and of his own free will, admitted he masterminded every significant event from the Norman Invasion through the bubonic plague, fall of Constantinople, and Great Fire of London, to the Battle of Little Big Horn, assassination of JFK and the Oklahoma bombing. Or he might as well have. The extraordinarily comprehensive list of terrorist outrages for which he claims responsibility would be beyond the capacity of any but the most brilliant and inspired mortal; Khalid, I fear, is a more run of the mill thug.
Khalid’s list of confessions read like something from a show trial in a stalinist state. There’s something for everyone: the authorities have caught the man responsible for all the bad things (Mission Accomplished!), Al Qaida can claim to be super-powerful, and to anyone else the whole thing is an obvious farce.
Update: According to Jesus’ General, the key to uncovering this high-quality information is to torture a mentally ill man after kidnapping his children.